One of my co-workers apparently has a lot of time. Here's something he wrote up about Cal basketball.

Dear Abby,

I’ve been in a on-again, off-again relationship with Ben Braun and his Cal Golden Bears for nearly 12 years. Things started off great. In his first year, Ben swept me off my feet – taking Cal to the Sweet 16 and winning Pac10 Coach of the Year. I really thought he was The One, and that we’d live happily ever after. But since then, it’s been a roller coaster relationship.

What’s most painful is that I keep having my hopes raised, only to have them subsequently dashed. In the last decade, Ben has taken me to the NCAA tournament five times – only to lose in the 1st or 2nd round each time.

He has promised me contention for the Pac10 title a few times, and we’ve gotten close before, but he’s never been able to deliver. In 2004, he brought in a top 10 recruiting class with two McDonalds All-Americans. We had losing records the next two years.

This year has been more of the same. Braun got my hopes up by going 9-2 in the non-conference schedule, and beating #22 USC in the opening conf game. But then he lowered the boom – three straight down-to-the-wire losses on our home floor against good but beatable competition. Sick of the heartbreak, I finally broke it off one more (hopefully last) time.

But Ben is back at it again. He promises he has changed. He promises things will be different this time. He even brought me two road victories over the Washington schools.

My mother and all my friends say to cut him loose – he’s a nice guy, but he’ll never bring home the bacon, and you’ll be left heartbroken again and again. Abby, I am torn. Please help me. What would you advise me to do?

Signed,

Afraid to Hope Again

Dear Afraid,

One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a difference outcome. Ben has had 12 years to prove himself to you, but has never been able to deliver what you are looking for in this relationship.

For a little perspective, consider the other BCS girls out there who’ve been steady with the same guy for 11+ years:

Current Coaches at Same BCS-Conference School Since 1996
Jim Boeheim (Syracuse, since 1976)
Mike Krzyzewski (Duke, since 1980)
Lute Olson (Arizona, since 1983)
Jim Calhoun (Connecticut, since 1986)
Gary Williams (Maryland, since 1989)
Ben Braun (California, since 1996)
Billy Donovan (Florida, since 1996)
Tom Izzo (Michigan State, since 1996)

Besides your Ben, the other seven coaches have all won National Championships. Not just conference championships and Final Four appearances, but the whole enchilada.

College basketball’s a ‘win or go home’ world, and most coaches end up going home. By this measure, your patience with Braun has been just shy of masochistic.

My advice: let him go. Protect your heart. It’s never going to happen with Braun, so don’t waste valuable emotion, time, and energy on him. Cutting him loose will hurt in the short term, but will save you untold pain and suffering into the future.

Better to start fresh. Mr. Right is out there – you might as well start looking now.

Abby